Tomorrow, we go to meet Jacob's Kindergarten teacher, and his first official day of Kindergarten quickly follows on Monday. The hesitation I feel for this day is hard to express. I feel such pride in my 'big boy', branching out into the world to meet new people and expand his horizons. On the other hand, I am terrified for him. Afraid for the scary experiences he will have without me around, the kids who may tease, the owies that I won't be there to kiss. The biggest fear, I guess, is wondering who will be looking out for his best interests like I would.
I know he's been in daycare for years, and has had to go it on his own sometimes, but on such a smaller scale! His little group of 6 kids has disbanded as they head into their own school adventures, and now, he will be one of 23. How does he not get lost in the shuffle? Who makes sure he's not scared, or sad, or hungry?
Have I taught him enough confidence? Have I prepared him to find his own way? Will he know how to make the right choices?
Why am I already wiping tears? Why does it feel like he's already packing to move out of the house?
Alright then, go, my little, brave man. You make Mommy so proud. I trust that one day soon, this will be a day we'll look back on as another happy moment in your life, to be cherished and remembered, and that it will have it's own place, with much less emotional upheaval than I currently feel, in your life story.
For today, I count my blessing as the little baby boy who stole my heart, and continues to capture my every breath.
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