98908 Final PLE

Upon reviewing my original PLE post in week four of our course, I must acknowledge that I have expanded my PLE far more than I had expected, which is a wonderful surprise for me!

I couldn't decide the right way to visually indicate the opportunity for future learning that I anticipate will also come  but I do indeed anticipate a future PLE and expect it to be much more evolved than this one.
As I delve into the world of using an LMS and creating on-line content for my training courses, I envision more and more tools becoming part of my 'toolbox'.

For me, the most important part of my learning is my learning network of peers and mentors.  I have found that most of my learning occurs when others are sharing their tools, concepts and ideas, rather than when I need to motivate myself to research and learn on my own.  I guess that is evident by the communication' category of my PLE, which is much more evolved than the other areas.

I feel like I have not come as far as I would like in this course, in part because I have been unable to dedicate as much time as I would like to learning the new concepts and programs that have been discovered so that I can claim them as my own, which, I guess, makes them part of my future PLE rather than part of my current one.

I look forward to the continued expansion of my learning.

My Personal Learning Environment

So, in total deviation from what I normally write about... (who am I kidding, I hardly write at all!)
For the Introduction to Emerging Technologies course I am taking, I was asked to create a diagram of my Personal Learning Environment, i.e. my PLE.
Here it is:



The distinction between environments I can control and environments I just 'use' or access is something I hadn't thought about before.
My blog, here, is whatever I want it to be, I can upload photos, control what goes in it and when, I feel ownership of this space.
LinkedIn and Facebook are places where I have no control over the design and speed at which information comes at me, I can join the race, or not, but I cannot alter it's style, form or pace, so I am just a visitor there.
Some of the environments are a bit of both, like Google Docs, where I am in the confines of the program, but the documents I am working on inside it are mine to manipulate as I see fit.

I prefer to be more in control of the environments I am in, which is perhaps why I don't like using the wiki we have at work? It doesn't flow with my sense of how things should appear on the screen, and I can't alter it to accommodate my style, so have to force myself into unfamiliar places to work inside it.

I also think about the LMS side I am working on, which will be accessed by outside parties. This is an environment I control (to some extent) which they cannot. Is this how educational systems have to be structured, so students can be 'managed' as to what they can see and do within the learning environment?
How does this external Environment mesh with my Personal Environment? Using D2L for this course provides me with specific ways of working through the course material, and does not allow for free thinking/wandering about in the construct of the program. This must require a lot of thought in the initial design phase to determine what will meet the standards of the masses.
Are there two environments, then? My PLE and an External Learning Environment?

Lots to think about.

Who has time for sadness?

As you are aware, I am a working mom with two very busy kids. I love my life, most of the time. What I miss, is quiet time. I can't recall the last time I didn't have something to do or somewhere to be or someone who needed something from me. Most of the time, that's ok, I like it that way! I love being needed and important in my children's lives, and being a part of my community is important to me too.

That being said...

On December 20th my friend Melissa died. She was a beloved friend who had a very quick battle with cancer. I mean, we were at work together in October! I took her out for dinner on November 25th! Yes, she was ailing, but all signs were pointing to recovery at that time. 3 weeks later she was in palliative care, then suddenly she's gone from the planet forever.
I walked into the care facility and asked to see her, only to be told she had died an hour before. I couldn't even breathe.

And here I sit, at work, in the office I shared with her every day, and the grief still smacks me in the face at any given moment.

So my question is: Who takes time to be sad?
The day she died I sat in my car on the side of the road and screamed and cried for 10 minutes. Then I got on with one of the more hectic days on our schedule, dragging kids to practices and Christmas parties, standing at outdoor rinks and acting as if the world wasn't completely upside down.
I took the next day off and cried all day, but still continued to 'do stuff'.

Then Christmas and all it's chaos arrived, and we were off to hockey and ringette tournaments all over town and then everyone just went back to doing what they do.

Is that grieving? Is that what the process is? Just ignore the pain and eventually you just keep on going?
I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. My neck and shoulder muscles twang like guitar strings, and I cry at the drop of a hat.
Am I supposed to feel like this? Isn't there something I should DO??? If so, WHAT???
I am lost, like that sad little boy in "Where the Wild Things Are", when his boat floats away. I have no paddle, no compass, no life preserver.

Intellectually I get that at some point I won't feel this lost or stressed out or strung out. My mind recognizes that this is not the first time I have lost someone I love, nor will it be the last, and what choice is there but to keep trudging on? But my soul hurts. My brain is detached from responsibilities and I am just going through the motions. I have no idea what my next task is at work, and am unable to make myself care.
I think I need time to be sad, I just don't know how. How to find the time or how to be sad. Stillness is an imaginary thing to me, and I think the healing lies in the stillness.