Roots

Well, since the title of my blog is based on a tree, it seems fitting I find the roots of that tree to ensure healthy, blossoming growth.
I'm thinking that this search for happiness that I find myself on has taught me something most people learn a lot earlier in life. Happiness comes from within! I've heard it a million times, but haven't really figured out how to internalize the idea. This month I decided to make an effort to do just that.
I started going to church again. Two weeks in and my kids love their sunday school, and I am reconnecting with a core part of my childhood years and the fundamentals that helped shape who I am. While I do recall complaining extensively about having to go to church when I was in my pre-teen and teen years, I still remember loving the early years, and all the friends I made.
I also have very strong ties to the people and memories from TEC (Teens Encounter Christ), which I attended at 16 years old and worked with for 4-5 years after that. Many of the people I met at TEC are still connected to me, and I can't discount the faith that carried us on that journey together.
Part of finding a way to grow happiness from within is finding a safe haven inside myself where I can inspect my spiritual and emotional needs. I don't need 'stuff' to be happy, that is more my husband's thing that I have adopted over the years...I need validation, self-confidence and a higher power to lean on when I feel like it's all crashing down around me.
The motivation to change all the things that need to change in my life, to make me a happier person, must come from me, and I can't always be self-motivating, so I will try to trust God to give me the right people and the right situations to bring that about.

I went to a seminar last week where a woman talked to us about listening. She conducted a 4-year experiment where she started a new job and just tried to be a listener all the time. She was the most popular person in the office. When she left the job there were 4 different going away parties held for her. Her co-workers all got together and bought $1000.00 worth of gift cards for the spa.
Turns out, this woman hates going to the spa and gave all the gift cards away!
What's the lesson here? For me, the lesson is a mix of needing to talk less and listen more, but also the need to find a balance between the two, because I don't want to spend my life surrounded by people who don't know me at all!
The search for joy continues....

Re-connecting

It has been quite some time since I looked at my blog, and it seems, also quite some time since I took a positive look at the joys in my life.
So, I'm going to list a few things that I need to take time to recognize more often, so I can look back on my list and remember when I need to most.
Things I love that give me the greatest joy:



My children
My husband
My family
My friends

Things I do that bring me joy:
Singing
Playing with my kids
Working - I have a great new position at work!
Spending time with my friends

Things I need to do for myself to increase my joy:
Get back to running
Date night!
Less time at work
Find a musical outlet that suits me better
Call my friends and make the time to get caught up
Extend myself out of my little circle
Get out of debt
Get back to my health care
Find out about my medical needs - dentist, eye care, physical

All good things.

Holiday Treasures

Jacob's first Christmas concert was a wonderful event, even if our seats were on the wrong end of the auditorium. Lesson one, ask your kid where they are going to be standing on the stage during the concert :) He, my little shy guy, was up there singing and dancing and having a great time. It was fabulous and he was so proud of himself.
Christmas was almost defeated by the flu, which went through 7 members of our family between the 19th and 23rd of December. Thankfully, we had a reprieve for a few fun-filled days before my sister was knocked down with it and had to delay her flight home because she couldn't get out of bed.
Regardless, Santa made his scheduled stop at our house and the kids had a blast.

Visiting with cousin, Deacon, was a real treat, and having the whole family with us to celebrate the holidays is a rare occurrence that will be fondly remembered.

Grace is such a caring little girl, she loves to take care of the little ones and had to be reminded regularly that she is not allowed to carry her baby cousin (who weighs more than 20 lbs.), around the house. She compromised by following him everywhere and calling his name like a puppy. Too cute.

So as we gear up for 2010 and get back into the swing of all our activities, jobs, schools et al., I am thankful for a holiday season full of love and family, and treasure the memories that these fleeting moments bring.

New Year's Resolve....

I find the last few years have been an exercise in avoiding resolutions.
However, I do think there is something to be said for resolve, of some kind. I'm feeling like I've let myself down over the last couple of years, starting and not finishing things that are of benefit to only me. I seem to be at the end of my priority list far too often.
I have a new goal. In addition to trying to find more positivity in my every day life, (and yes, I know I have not been entirely successful in this effort, but I'll continue to try!), I will endeavor to cut out the junk food and treat my body with more respect. It's not just about losing weight, it's about getting healthy, and teaching my kids how to eat and how to treat themselves. It's about learning to love myself as I am. (wow, that's a tough one). So. Hello, Goal, it's me, Lori.

Holiday frantic?

It's December 4th. I've made a signifant dent in the Christmas shopping, got the tree up and most of the house decorated, am singing in my Holiday concert on Sunday, have completed some of the crafts on my to-do list, and still have a list 5 miles long of things to get done before we kick it into high gear starting with a dinner party on the 20th.
Every year I find myself wondering where the magic is. I think, this year, the magic is in the eyes of my children. I've often heard it said that Christmas is for the children, and in some ways, I guess that's true. The kids were so excited to decorate the tree and the house, and are eagerly awaiting the writing of our letter to Santa. (one more thing on that list of mine..) The school field trip to Santa's workshop was a huge hit, and the magic is just shining out of their eyes and ears like rays of sunshine.
I always figured Christmas was about love. Love for the family and friends around us, love of our mother earth and all the blessings she bestows. I never thought about how much love I would feel watching my children enjoy the season too.

I caught my husband watching the kids as they played together last night. When asked what he was looking at he replied, " Nothing, just looking." Then he commented, "sometimes her face just looks so small" while watching Grace. I said, "that's because it is." And it's true! These tiny, magical creatures that share their lives with us every day are like Santa's little elves bringing their special kind of magic all year long.
May I learn to appreciate the magic more and worry about the chaos less!

Through all the hurry and scurry that this season brings, I will endeavour to think about the magic, the love and the most important gifts I've received from heaven.
Who cares if there's a little dust on the mantle, or if Santa's hat is crooked, or an ornament gets broken? Those things don't hold the magic, do they.

Cold season

This week has been a day-to-day observance of the worst cold I've ever seen on Grace. Her cough, reminiscent of a barking seal, has kept most of us up through 3 or 4 nights now. At times she seems unable to stop coughing for even a minute. Bedtime has arrived, so we will coat her with Vicks and dose her with cough remedy and hope for a restful night.
With all the panic over H1N1 this year, every time she coughs we get nasty looks from the people around us, and daycare has been shooting us dirty looks all week. For 3 years she's had chronic colds through the winter, and yet this year it may as well be the plague.
My children are being taught that hand sanitizer and needles will make them healthy, while at home we are trying to teach them that healthy bodies come from the inside. What a novelty.
I find myself ranting in my head to strangers about health and wellness, (thank you to Drs. Whittaker for planting those seeds), and trying to start a crusade to save everyone from the evils of the flu shot. Then I hear the nagging voice in the back of my mind that talks about getting an asthma puffer for Grace's chronic respiratory illnesses and others recommending some kind of anti-viral medication to heal her.
It's so hard to know what is actually the right thing to do. Nobody seems to have a happy medium, and I live my life trying to balance all sides and find a compromise I can live with. So far, not working so much in this case. I guess I need to decide if we're going to live a natural, healthy lifestyle, and start eating and caring for ourselves accordingly, or go back to the idea of modern medecine being the cure for all ills, and continue to live our lazy, not-so-healthy lives.
If anyone out there has the answers..I'd love to hear them!

November already!

Things have been pretty status quo around here, and after a round of colds for most of us, we are back in the swing of things.
Hallowe'en was a great evening, my princess Ariel and her brother the Power Ranger ran from house to house for the first block of trick-or-treating, they were so excited. Watching their excitement almost made up for the daytime chaos; how do you entertain two children who are counting the minutes until the god of candy opens his coffers? And the next question is, how do I make all this candy disappear without letting my children, (or me), consume it all?
With the imminent cold and flu season, the last thing we need is a bunch of sugar to depress our immune systems.
In other news, Jacob is thriving at school now, and he reports having two friends. This has brought renewed confidence in all aspects of his life. He actually jumped off the diving board at swimming lessons last week! (His previous experience with the diving board being one of 'keep your distance...'). He seems to have settled in, and now that things on the bus are under control, he is loving school. We get a monthly newsletter from school that outlines their activities, and I find myself feeling a little left out. I pry details out of him every day, but I am missing so many great experiences in his life, it makes me a little sad. He's so big and learning so fast.
Grace is loving her gymnastics and swimming classes, and now that she is watching Jacob play hockey on Mondays, has decided it's time for her to play too. We'll try a round of skating lessons again and see what that does to her enthusiasm. The last round of lessons ended abruptly after 2 lessons and a lot of tears.

Yesterday was a great day. I sat in amazement, doing my own thing (ok, I was catching up on missed episodes of Gray's Anatomy), while my children played together, without fighting, for hours! A day to be marked in the history books! What a joy to see a future where days like this are possible!
My children are growing up so fast. What a precious gift I have been given!
Again, I count my blessings.