Selfishness

I prefer to think of myself as a pretty giving person, but sometimes I wonder where my motivation comes from. I admit to getting a 'feel good' result from helping people, one of my favorite jobs ever was working behind the customer service counter at the mall, because all I did was help people, in a brief 30 second increment at a time. I have to wonder if the 'feel good' part of giving is the only reason I give.
After 11 years of marriage, does the giving fall by the wayside? Am I too wrapped up in the kids and in my own 'stuff', to notice when my husband needs a little more attention?
I still remember a time when I was about 12 or 13 years old, my Dad walked in the front door after work and I was headed right for him. My Mom stopped me and told me he wasn't in a very good mood, that he had had a bad day. I asked her how she knew. She said she could tell by looking at him. I thought she must be some kind of genius!
As I grew up I realized she's not some freak of nature, it's easy to see emotions in someone if you're looking at them and listening to them. Why then, do I so rarely know when my husband isn't happy? Is he just better than most at hiding his emotions? I think he is exceptional at this. But..am I also too busy or self-absorbed to notice?
How do I practice awareness and listening skills? It is a promise I make to myself on a regular basis, to listen more and talk less, to be a different kind of person so as to increase intimacy in all my relationships. Maybe I need to learn to like who I am rather than trying to become someone else....
I think I have much learning to do. So, my blessing is a patient husband and the ability to continue to learn and grow every day :)